Currently Listening Drive By Graham Colton Band First Week see related

Hello my darlings. There is news that I will fill in later when exams are over and I can breathe properly. I have acquired a boyfriend. That sounds so stupid. I'm dating Ben Grant and could never be happier. Never. It's been the best week. *Sigh* More details to come later!

"Why can't it be like the first week?"

             Graham Colton Band

Currently Listening The Spirit Room By Michelle Branch Everywhere see related

Oh my. Big news. Kevin and I have decided to just be friends. It will work because both of us are just full of dating frustration towards the other and we can't be having that. No more kissing or cuddling, but seeing as how we are both pathalogical flirts, that won't end. He's my best friend and I can't give him up for anything and I won't. We need each other and thats scary, but right in a weird way. We talked through it. It's going to be okay. On a flip side: I went to Ben's last night for dinner. We made spaghettios and sat out on his porch. It was truly one of the most lovely evenings of my life. We talked and talked and he played guitar and he tried to teach me. And we laughed and listened to music and looked at pictures. He came back to my room and we sat on my bed for a while and talked and laughed and listened to music. We watched the stars and I wore his jacket and I remember thinking...Wow. That's all. I was just so happy. There were a few times when I could see in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me, but he didn't. And that made it so much better.

"The sun itself sees not till heaven clears."

                      Shakespeare

Currently Listening 10 Things I Hate About You: Music From The Motion Picture By Various Artists Even Angels Fall see related

It always ends like this with him and me. Crying, yelling, slamming doors. And yet everytime I just go running back. What does he do? Sigh, and say maybe things would be easier if you stayed the hell away from me. Maybe deep down that's what he wants. I don't know. All I know is, we are aren't dating, we aren't kind of dating. We aren't anything. He cannot have me to play with, I'm a girl not a plaything or a toy. Jess told me that everyone gets hurt regardless in a relationship. I told her we aren't in a relationship, she told me that it sucks and it wouldn't hurt so bad if they didn't call it a crush. She told me to gaurd my heart. I've been trying for 18 years to do that.

"You will fly and you will crawl, God knows even Angels fall."

                            Jessica Riddle

Currently Listening X&Y By Coldplay Til Kingdom Come see related

Cripes, it's been a long time. Ten days to be exact and much has happened in those ten days. Let me see. I'll just skip straight to the interesting parts. We had a movie night on the Monday before Thanksgiving break in which we watched Seven. Kevin and I stayed up until 4 talking to each other after the movie. On a side note: Carolina lost and that was why I had to watch Seven in the first place, but it wasn't very scary at all actually. Tuesday I headed back to my paradise city with William Veeck and me and Caroline went and saw Harry Potter on the IMAX. And it was incredible. Wednesday, I had to work but afterwards I went to frisbee practice with Emily and we walked over to Ali's. Matt was there and he scared me so bad. He said Craig had been asking about me. I about keeled over and died right there and then he told me he was lying and Ali boxed him in the stomach. I later on had dinner and guitar time with Nick Shahid. It was fabulous. Thursday I gutted my room with cleaning and then headed over to the Meads for family dinner. Joy and rapture. We are thankful for the trees because they give us air and apparently, Jay is thankful for me being at the WU. YAY!!!!! I hung out with Gavin after dinner and just got to have a lovely chat. Friday was packed! Harry Potter with Caroline(yes again and by my choice), a very uneventful Rumph Roast and Pearl Harvin 3. You're in or you're Aushcwitz. Damn, I love that Steven King, he's so creative. So on the way downtown I backed my car into 2 houses with little damage to the houses and none to my car. Me, Chan and Emily had goals that rarely got accomplished. I won't write them here for fear that someone will find them and we will get shot. Anyways, I did a few shots to get in the swing of things and due to Lorin's peer pressure. Craig and Creighton both made passes at me. Oh Lord and I probably shouldn't write this but I kissed Dale. And Channing almost did. Good thing Emily didn't find out, but when I found her at the end of the night, she was sporting a busted lip. I don't know how it happened. I proceeded outside to watch out for cops with Ali and watch Jay and Craig smoke. Around 2 I tucked Craig and Creighton in, after I figured out the new bang board system. I love those boys ever so much. I am ALWAYS on high demand when I come home and I love it. They might be fuck ups but they love me and thats all I could ever ask for. On Saturday I had brunch at the Calamai residence and went shopping with my mother and sister. I stayed in on Saturday night. Kinda wish I had gone out on my last night. Sunday, church and then a 2 hour beach walk with Dan that kinda just made things with us murkier. He doesn't want me to date Kevin but he doesn't want me to date him either. So confusing. Whatever. Kevin and I went for a walk last night when I got back and he was all like I missed you so much blah blah blah. WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME?! Pick: date me or not. You can't have your cake and eat it too! It's just very frustrating to me, especially since this weekend at home, like 10 people asked if I had a boyfriend and I had to say I don't know which meant "No I can't hookup". Stupid people. I have a love/hate relationship with hot Charleston boys. Geez. Anyways, it's Monday night so that means a late night Nance party. Kevin goes back to Columbia tomorrow for his dad's surgery. The time is slipping away from me...

"Cause she's bittersweet, she knocks me off my feet, she's a mystery, she's too much for me and yet I go back for more, she's just the girl I'm looking for."

             I don't know who sings this but it's on 95 SX all the freaking time!

Currently Watching The O.C. - The Complete Second Season By Peter Gallagher see related

So the Elton John concert on Wednesday night was incredible. He did everything I wanted with the exception of Mona Lisas and Mad Hattters. Yeah, it was so great to go to a concert with the entire fam. Mommy, Daddy and Little Sister. Phenominal. And then I get to go home on Tuesday and see them for almost a whole week. YAY!!! On a side note, Mom and Caroline came into the Nance to meet all my friends and it was very sweet. Kenneth and Emily were giving her pie and people were shaking their hands. I love my friends. They rock hard. Woot. Last night Kevin and I went awalkin' around campus and then decided that it was too cold and that we'd go make cookies in W. Thomson. So we made cookies and played around. We kissed on Joe's bed but I'm not even supposed to write/say anything for fear that he will find out. He said at lunch that day( he was wearing a BE shirt I gave to him) that someone had asked who went to BE and Joe said Kevin's girlfriend did. He said he laughed it off. But last night, it was all very different. We decided that we should keep praying about us. He said though that he was more open to the idea of a relationship with me. Then he kissed me on the nose and we talked about his dad's heart surgery. He says he's not worried but I can tell he is. I wish I could make him stop worrying. I also wish he would tell someone about us and his kiss.

"Sometimes you can't make it on your own."

                            U2